Many cultures, primarily outside of the United States, believe that the invisible world plays such an enormous part in everyday life, it is custom and is extremely important to pay a great deal of attention to the dead and the ancestral family. I think we all can agree that death is a universal fact and is the inevitable end of all human life. Life does not just end there. The soul continues on in another form (spirit) and in another world. It is also believed by many that the dead are reborn into family members so that they can finish whatever business they were not able to finish while on earth for these reasons (and others) a great deal of concern, care, time, and money is spent on proper burial rites. From the preparation of the body all the way through to the prayers, ceremonies, and sacrifices given to help ensure that the deceased is satisfied and appeased for an easy transition from the land of the living to the land of the dead. It is believed by some that if proper funeral rites are not performed for the deceased, the spirit of the dead person will become a ghost to roam the world without peace, lost and confused with the abilities to harm and haunt people and relatives until it gains attention and proper acknowledgment of the proper burial rights, prayers, offerings, or ceremonies that will bring contentment to its soul.
“Ancestor veneration” or “ancestor worship” (meaning to maintain an ongoing relationship with those who have departed) exists through almost every known culture. In celebration of All Soul’s Day, many honor the dead by putting gifts, flowers and food on the graves of their family members. Many cultures will honor the dead with festivals, drumming, singing, dancing, and drinking for it is believed that to honor our ancestors is to honor our lineage and our roots and is the first step to reclaiming our spiritual heritage. The ancestors become spirit guides and are consulted for guidance, prayed to, venerated with rituals and are given offerings for their continued influence on the living by helping them to resolve their day-to-day problems.
There are numerous traditions that incorporate reverence for ancestors, which is indirectly a self-respecting measure.
Flower petals are placed on the bed of the dead to honor the life of the deceased. The custom of funerary flowers is an ancient tradition passed down from the Egyptians.
At The Oriental Institute of The University of Chicago, an Egyptian coffin shows a flower petal headress worn by high ranking women and floral necklaces that were pictograms of renewal. Egyptian funerary rituals used flowers and petals to create massive arrangements, floral staffs that symbolize fertility and floral headresses that symbolize a joyful afterlife.
In his turn of the 20th century "Dictionary of Phrase and Fable," Ebenezer Cobham Brewer states that, "The Greeks crowned the dead body with flowers, and placed flowers on the tomb also."
Romans also covered their tombs and funeral couches with wreaths, flowers and petals to honor the dead.
In the Aztec tradition, marigold petals were used on the deceased and on funeral altars to celebrate life and provide a means for the deceased to find their way back to this world. To the Aztecs, death was a cycle of life that was completed by returning to this life with the aid of flowers offered by the living.
Wondering how you can honor your ancestors or looking for an addition to your existing practice? Here are a few ideas to get your creativity flowing:
Make Halloween More than Fear: Traditionally Samhain is about honoring returning (good) spirits who came back for these few nights, and of course, keeping out the bad ones who also might show up. We tend to focus on the bad ones now and dwell on the frightening aspect of death. However, how often do you talk with each other or your children about welcoming back grandpa or Aunt Myrtle?
Have a Home Altar: decorate it with family photos, as many as you can dig up, candles and incense. Visit once a day or once a week. Try to visit longer on the anniversary of a loved one's demise. Stop by your family altar and talk to the spirits once in a while about hard things in your life and ask for advice and meditate there. If you have children, you might assign one child to maintain the shrine by dusting it, replacing candles, etc.
The Empty Plate: This charming tradition, for some, is known as the plate for Ezekiel. POW-MIA Associations often host a missing-man service, where a table is set once a year with symbolic plates, flowers, salt, lemon, etc. I recall my own parents setting an empty place at holiday meals. Set the table for one extra person and come-who-may will be able to join you.
Visit Graves: Flags line graveyards on Memorial and Veteran's Day in the United States with flowers brightening the grounds on Mother’s and Father’s Day. In Latin America and some parts of the United States, on Dia de Los Muertos, families will have a picnic and set up an ofrido (altar) at the family grave site, sometimes for a day or two. Check your local cemetery to see if this is permissible, and what the proper rules are.
Carry a Memento: Your dad’s lucky coin tucked safely in your wallet, grandma’s pearl earrings worn lovingly or your dog’s nametag hanging on your keychain, keep memories of our loved ones close and alive.
Take Care of Yourself: Strive to remain healthy, happy and balanced. Your life, after all, is a gift from and part of, them.
